This new book I’m working on has got me thinking about groupies–their special tricks, how they used to look in the late 80s, their devotion, their role in rock and roll literature, and how they are a kind of expert stalker. In some sense their over-the-top behavior is socially sanctioned, or at least expected. I think the craziest groupie behavior I’ve read about has been in Motley Crue: The Dirt (forgive me Crue fans and Germans I cannot get my keyboard to make an umlaut and I kind of don’t care enough to do a help search on that shit). My friend, Dave Smith, aka, Smoota, a rock god in his own right, told me to read this because it’s real and raw. And it is–not surprisingly these guys are terrible pigs and the stuff women do for and with them sometimes breaks my tender feminist heart. But I keep reading, you know, for the research. Everyone (except of course for their billions of fans) hates these guys and they hate each other, and yet there are so many groupies doing just about anything with them in hot tubs, closets, and cars.
The interweb tells me that a groupie is “a person who seeks sexual and/or emotional intimacy with a celebrity or other authority figure.” Okay, that sounds about right. I think it’s easy to overlook the emotional intimacy part and to focus on the sex. I guess, because the sex part is, well, sexier. I should probably say something here about Penny Lane, the groupie in Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous who helped us see the more complicated, emotional role that groupies can play in the lives of bands. I think she (Kate Hudson) even has a little monologue about this, but I haven’t seen the movie in a while and I’m a little scared to watch it because people keep saying, “Oh it’s like Almost Famous,” when I tell them about my book. “No, it’s totally different!” I shout at them in my head, where things are always very emphatic or lately, I just say, “Yeah, it’s Almost Famous but for women.” See, I’m ready to go to pitch meeting.
I wasted a good hour of writing time yesterday looking at images of groupies online, and so now I will share them with you so that you can waste some of your precious time. I’m especially partial to the one of Cynthia Plaster Caster staring lovingly (maniacally?) at one of her penis casts. Check out the devotion of those Kiss groupies (the one in the middle is not actually naked) and also the sly looks of those 60s girls.